A Compassionate Voice for the Parents of Children with Hidden Disabilities
Melanie Boudreau
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“I Can Get That for You”

11/23/2018

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“Move your heart closer and closer to God, and He will come even closer to you.” (James 4:8 TPT)
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“Venti sugar-free vanilla latte with almond milk, hot, with cinnamon steamed in, please. For him. And I’ll take...”

When possible, I ask my husband what he wants, but the truth is I can order for him because I already know what he wants. I am with him a lot, enough to hear him order and even explain his order when someone new or inexperienced is behind the counter. When his preferences change, I care and ask, having grown sensitive to nuance and season and which circumstances influence what he orders. I place his order with confidence, even when I am not able to confer with him.

Authority flows forth from intimacy.

I have the confidence to speak for my husband precisely because I am in a covenant relationship with him, I am closest to him, and because I know what he wants! I have spent time gaining clarity on what he is thinking and feeling. I understand why he is doing the things he is doing. Because I know his heart, I give him the benefit of the doubt.

But I admit, sometimes he surprises me; sometimes he orders something completely unexpected. His now- preference can seem like it is from left field, and I am curious and inquire rather than opposing today’s deviation.

This morning just as I was awakening, Holy Spirit’s first words to me were “Authority flows forth from intimacy”. From there He took me in my sanctified imagination through the carline at Starbucks.


I understand. And on this fine morning ,before the sun rises, I’m eager to hear more.


“Move your heart closer and closer to God, and He will come even closer to you.” (James 4:8 TPT)


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Giving Thanks, Even Today

11/22/2018

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Thanksgiving has been a mixed bag for us, like most parents raising children with hidden disabilities. After the disruption of routine by cooking and door bells and the annual unveiling of china dishes, getting all three children to the table with the ring of our Swiss cowbell did not always happen. As a mother heavily invested in creating memories and Norman Rockwell snapshots in time, I grieved those years the take away from our festive gathering more closely resembled the work of Salvador Dali.

Neurology is no respecter of holiday. Whether Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday or Mother’s Day, anxiety, irrationality, depression, mood lability, and volatility have been unwelcome guests at our table on any given year. Recognition of the role neurology plays is not enabling; it is an honest assessment offering compassion to every member of our family.

We are family. And over the years we have learned to take the spotlight off of behaviors and blow-ups and onto the joy of connection and togetherness.
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Every day has been made for thanks giving.




“He who offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving honors Me; And to him who orders his way aright I shall show the salvation of God.”
Psalms 50:23 (NASB)


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Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts

11/20/2018

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How are you? Peals of laughter.

I love meeting with friends who share the common bond of both Christ and raising children with neuro-psych challenges. We understand the question we ask one another by rote must be answered on a different scale than most. My friend replied, “Death by a thousand paper cuts.” Again we laugh.

My beautiful friend is raising two out of three children with neuro-psych differences in a dizzying dance with interventionists, medical bills, and stormy seas at home. For us, when our children were teens their brain chemistry challenges presented constant battles with emotional stability, mood lability, accountability and my ability to juggle calls from school!

Even though my friend has many needs, she is not one I would ever call “needy”. She is not the kind of friend that causes the recipient of a text, phone call, or request for a meeting to cringe. The opposite is true and can be true for you as well in spite of the intensity of the chaos you manage daily.

One who is needy presents like a tornado of crisis, sucking into its vortex anything or anyone it nears. We all have had seasons where we were those tornados, and I thank God for beloveds in my life who helped me stop spinning. But having intense needs does not create the twister. The whirlwind results from not knowing the primary place to take the traumas, the pain, the complexities and even the joys of everyday life.

I gained unfettered access to my most cherished Confidant during the hardest seasons of my life by locking myself in the downstairs bathroom at five o’clock every morning. By the time I talked with others, I had already spilled much pain in prayer and received deep comfort. The challenges may have remained, but the more I could leave with God, the less tumultuous current my life created for others, in spite of my needs.

My friend does likewise, connecting with God on a level of abiding that sustains her in every situation. Her wisdom shines from her countenance, a glow that she refreshes daily positioned before the Throne of God, far above all principalities and powers, above everything driving the assault against her inner peace.

Still waters are a joy to visit.

And I can’t wait until we get to meet again.
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The Assignment Our Speech Carries

11/18/2018

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“Bless the LORD, you His angels, Mighty in strength, who perform His word, Obeying the voice of His word!”
​Psalm 103:20 NASB
When we speak the word of the Lord we send angels on assignment carefully listening for commands. (Psalm 103:20) Are not words which are in agreement with Heaven, God’s words? But oh how easy it is to speak negative words in agreement with Hell over our children when they frustrate us, over our church when it disappoints us, over our leaders when they fail us or over our work when it drains us!

​Assessments made in judgment in agreement with the evil one are picked up by carefully listening spirits who activate and also receive their assignments by words spoken. “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21) The will of the Father can be spoken over every family member, over those who lead us, and over our livelihoods.


What we decide on will be done as a function of the authority God has entrusted to us as His representatives upon this Earth. Like it was said of Job, we will decree a thing, and it will be established for us. (Job 23:28) Whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there be any praise, when we think on these things and declare them over our sphere of influence we shift atmospheres from negative to positive, disempower the demonic realm from acting against us and those we love, and send the messengers of God on assignment on our behalves. (Philippians 4:8)

And I need all the help I can get.
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    About Melanie

    Two of our three children have Tourette's Syndrome as well as a few other co-morbidities, inherited neuropsychiatric disorders. I'm still happily married, love life and want to share encouragement bringing hope, humor and insight into the process of raising children who are different. 

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