A Compassionate Voice for the Parents of Children with Hidden Disabilities
Melanie Boudreau
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May I Have Your Attention Please? 

12/16/2014

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I dreamed last night that I sat on a floor of a public bathroom in an office building to put on some warmer tights. I carefully removed my family rings setting my gold and diamonds on the floor. But then I became distracted, and left the room briefly to walk and talk with another. I raced back to the restroom only to find my valuable jewels had been traded out for baubles. 

The holidays are busy times, full of distractions. Do we figuratively set aside our most valuable possessions, our children, for the trinkets of the season? Do the expectations of others, or those we place upon ourselves displace in our hearts, minds or schedules what matters most? 

Dreams are one way our loving Father gets our attention. He got mine. Who or what has yours? 
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Less Than Ideal 

12/11/2014

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Do loss and disappointment characterize the holidays for you? 

Last night I celebrated out with some friends. Six or seven women gathered, beckoned by one of my mentors, a woman in her seventies. Over the past 3 months she has lost her husband, sister, and a close friend. Yet in sincerity she related about what a cherished year this has been with the goodness and provision of God. 

This is the same women I  watched prepare and navigate through the death of her precious husband and marveled over the way they brought glory to God in the midst of sickness and death. Watching that season was like traversing on holy ground. 

These past two months my friend has also trained over 350 church planting pastors in the Philippines, and toured Israel. She has poured into my life and the lives of countless other women, each of us feeling like we are her closest friend. She has a way of living with such authenticity that intimacy is forged almost instantly in her relationships. 

Sometimes we forget that we bring God glory right in the midst of our pain and messy lives. Scripture teaches that God is with us as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, not around that valley. We prove our faith in suffering, as we draw near and emerge from our losses with sincere gratitude, marveling over His mercies which are new every day. 

When life is less than ideal this holiday season, remember the One who loved you first, who brings joy and meaning through every hardship. He has a way of making the worst of years, the best of years. 

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves". (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4‬:‭7‬ NLT)
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What You Do Not Know

12/6/2014

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Today was a tough morning for my daughter. She is 23 and working her first real job. Although she has an IQ of any Harvard grad, we are grateful for her job within walking distance at the little convenience store by our home. 

They are understaffed and have no idea the stress she is under working 40+ hours a week. Exhaustion exacerbates her tics, and this morning her fist slammed into her thigh repeatedly, a cruel tic that leaves her legs aching, the same legs she must stand on continuously for 8 hour shifts. I wasn't sure she would make it to work. We could hear her sobs through the door, and her rare screaming tic acting up. 

My heart was breaking for her. She is terrified of being "found out", of having her life crash like stacked cans upset by a shopping cart. She told her boss about Tourette's when she was hired, but the look on her boss's face spoke volumes about the discretion needed. My daughter downplayed the severity of the tics, and omitted the part about debilitating depression and crippling anxiety. It's taken long enough to get a job, and she's been burned before. 

Tonight, valiantly, she is there, at work.  Her expressed goal is to ensure that every customer leaves the store with a smile on his or her face. She is a delight, and not a shopping soul knows of her internal pain. 

Remember my daughter at the check out this holiday season, because she is not the only one with hidden pain. May we purpose to put a smile on the face of every retail employee, no matter how hurried or pressured we ourselves feel. 

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Disability Is Contextual

12/3/2014

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I do not like the term disability. I prefer "other abled". What if a child were born tone deaf into a fictional society where language was based upon the discernment and production of pitch? That child would be profoundly communication disabled. But place that same child into American culture and there is no longer any disability! Only when one stands in front of him during a church worship service is his lack even an annoyance! 

Disability is contextual. For our children who struggle, let's change their context! Create environments where they can thrive. We shift to focus our attentions on what they CAN do, and their successes are based on their abilities. 




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    About Melanie

    Two of our three children have Tourette's Syndrome as well as a few other co-morbidities, inherited neuropsychiatric disorders. I'm still happily married, love life and want to share encouragement bringing hope, humor and insight into the process of raising children who are different. 

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