A Compassionate Voice for the Parents of Children with Hidden Disabilities
Melanie Boudreau
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Are You Responsible?

3/16/2019

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Believers have a tendency to engage in ministry according to their gift mixes and competencies. We sign up for what we can do. Then when we run into snags, we ask Jesus to help. That means we bring 95% to the table, and we press in for His 5% to make up the difference for our lack. I’m thinking that pattern grossly limits what God can do in and through us.

For that matter, we even “sign up” for parenting planning for the number of children we can imagine raising with excellence. We certainly didn’t volunteer for challenges beyond our capacity, like birthing children with disabilities!

I’m thinking I would rather live outside the limits of my competencies. I have chosen to dream according to the desires He has placed within me, and discern what He desires to do. I step up to partner with Him bringing my 5%, my competencies and gifts in view of His grand vision. He supplies His 95%. I steward my 5% with excellence.

When assignments, whether ministry or child raising, is His gig the pressure is on Him, not on me. I do not have to strive, and if things turn out differently than I had envisioned, it is not my deal. Paul planted, Apollos watered, but it is God who gives the increase. I am not responsible for outcome when I have stewarded my piece with honor.

I mean, this vision of success raising my children is so huge, with outcomes so grandiose, it would be ludicrous to believe I could pull it off on my own. But HE CAN, and that is my aim… to partner with Him and to drop my jaw over how He does it, responding to Him in worship. So far, that is exactly how raising my family has unfolded. As well as my ministry and humanitarian pursuits.

Keep your palms open before Heaven and watch Him in awe unfold His purposes, working all things together for Your good.

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The Day My Anxiety Died

3/14/2019

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My husband married a train wreck 35 years ago. He was a new believer and didn’t see our union as risk. He prayed about me, and heard a clear yes from God. That was all he needed.

Three years in, I remember praying and thanking God for him. I felt so weak against temptation, and believed if anything ever happened to him, I was a lost cause destined to find my fulfillment in dead end pursuits.

Seven years in, I was at a small group meeting while my husband stayed home babysitting our infant when Holy Spirit showed up in power, (in my life for the first time like that), and each of us in attendance drank deeply. For several hours we reveled in His goodness unaware the angels were blocking the phone lines, holding back the incessant calls from my pastor’s wife trying to reach us.

Finally, her call got through. My husband had been transported by ambulance to the ER. Life threatening. ICU. A church member had our baby.

I was too “drunk”, inundated by the presence of God, (not unlike as described by our forefathers of the faith), to drive safely. I was in shock knowing I could lose him, while simultaneously experiencing a circumstantially defying joy so much deeper than the stark reality of immediate risk. My pastor had to drive me to the hospital.

The peace I experienced that night and over the following weeks into full recovery took the words of Philippians 4:7 out of the realm of information and into the realm of profound revelation. “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (NLT)

My friend, I HEARD from God. What we WANT to hear, is “No harm will befall you or your loved ones, EVER.” But I did not hear that. I did not hear my beloved would survive. What I heard so incredibly deep in my spirit was “Everything will be all right, no matter what happens in this hospital.” And that was enough.

It never could have been enough aside from the manifestation of the Presence of God. Only with Him is His assurance enough. He is enough. And He has remained enough throughout the years which held more traumas for me and for my children as they have battled through the challenges of hidden disabilities. Traumas through which I have been held closely in Him while emerging resilient and bold in Christ.

Sans anxiety.
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Everything Will Be All Right

3/11/2019

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My Daddy is FAITHFUL.

My Daddy is the strongest in the whole universe!

My Daddy never takes His eyes off me! I’m the apple of my Daddy’s eye!

My Daddy is committed to me.

​My Daddy moves me out of harm’s way.

Nothing could ever separate me from my Daddy’s love.

A wise friend in crisis recently wrote to me, “I realized, out of pragmatism, I have been rushing. I need to do the opposite.”

Lingering more with God.

Yes. Absolutely yes.

When I am in crisis I am tempted to go into “grab the reins” mode, as though I am on a runaway stagecoach and it is entirely up to me to save the contents of my wagon rom careening off of a cliff.

In our home, we call a frantic lunge for the reins "orphan" mode, a posture of desperate fear believing no one else is in charge.

Attempting to seize control is an understandable response to crisis. It is what children without parents must do for survival.

But we have parents. We have a Father. And not just any Father. During times of crisis is when we draw in closer, burying our face in our Father’s embrace, clinging more tightly because it is scary out there. And watching to see how He handles “adult” problems that are out of our league.

We see what is coming at us, and we size up our Father!

My Daddy is FAITHFUL. My Daddy is the strongest in the whole universe! My Daddy never takes His eyes off me! I’m the apple of my Daddy’s eye! My Daddy is committed to me. My Daddy moves me out of harm’s way. Nothing could ever separate me from my Daddy’s love.

In the midst of the worst affronts, our praise gets more adamant, more animated, as we celebrate the Truth of Who our Father is, and our Relief buried and resurrected in God.

Self-preservation?

Oh what a different posture He invites us to adopt! We revel in our own adoption, an adoption with full rights of inheritance and full acceptance by our Father who chose us on the basis of His goodness and not on the basis of ours.

With palms open before God we neither attempt to control outcome, nor steer resolution. “That is risky”, our adversary tells us. “It’s better to know where you’re headed”, he seethes. Father’s hater shows us catastrophe if we “don’t plan ahead”, with no acknowledgement of the fact we cannot plan for as many permutations as are possible over the next few months of a crisis season, ensuring our frantic attempts at reparations of our security are fraught with anxiety.

We can loose our grip on our Father while juggling between possible eventualities, now consumed with orchestrating our own redemption.

“Do not be afraid, little one” our Father comforts, arms outstretched invitationally. These are His concerns. He has the connections, the resources, the networking, the knowledge; He even knows the number of days written in His book for us and our loved ones, whether they be few or many.

The assurance we need is not a detailed inventory of outcome; we need assurance that no matter what, everything will be all right.

You are held by your Father. A highly competent Someone is engaged in your story. And you, indeed, will be all right, no matter what the outcome of your particulars.


“For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him.” (2 Timothy 1:12)

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    About Melanie

    Two of our three children have Tourette's Syndrome as well as a few other co-morbidities, inherited neuropsychiatric disorders. I'm still happily married, love life and want to share encouragement bringing hope, humor and insight into the process of raising children who are different. 

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