Other mornings I awaken unaware, grab my phone and paralyze my mind scrolling through social media, emails, and text messages that came in during the night. The noise wipes clean my perceptions of the Divine, my sensitivity to His subtle whispers. 

Coffee. Coffee, please. 

One morning I can feel so connected, and the next, as though my day has started and this faith walk gets compartmentalized, relegating my interaction with Jesus to the confines of an appointment later in the day. 

Awareness of patterns is half the battle. Take inventory! 

The truth is, it is only in Christ "we live, and move and have our being". (Acts 17:28 NIV) Apart from Him, we can do nothing. Only connection with Jesus can produce the kind of fruit we want from our day or really even from our lives. (John 15:4-5) My life is not my own; it is not up to me to direct my own steps. (Jeremiah 10:23) And when I try, through omission, I lose ground. 

Now more than ever, with each day bringing new chaos, we must commune, connect, pursue, and draw near to our God. Our lives are designed to be an experience of immersion in Him, every moment of every day. As you draw near to Him, He promises to draw near to you! (James 4:8) 

Do not wait. Can you feel the urgency of the hour?

I am in the middle of a bathroom remodel project, the kind of vast under-taking that guts a room and slowly rebuilds it into a place of beauty. I contracted out most of the work, like the shower demolition, re-tiling, and custom wood butcher-block counters. But I have professional-level painting skills. 

For days I have sanded cabinets, primed, and painted. Yesterday I finally finished prepping the walls and ceiling and began the arduous task of painting the room. By the time I am ready to clean my equipment and brushes, typically in the middle of the night, I am utterly exhausted. You know how projects go. 

If a quality paintbrush is not cleaned properly, it dries stiff and hard and becomes useless. It takes time to clean it properly. A thorough cleaning requires copious amounts of running water— a stagnant bucket of water will not do. A painter then uses a dual-sided tool; a metal, sharp-pronged comb on one side, paired with a metal brush similar to a barbecue grill brush on the other side. 

I use the metal brush to repetitively scratch the exterior of the paintbrush’s ferrule stroking down the bristles under a running sink facet until the brush looks clean. But a mere squeeze reveals my brush is still full of paint! The efficient way to rid the brush of the paint is to use the sharp prongs of the metal comb to pierce the brush starting at the heel, splaying the bristles, and raking repetitively through the belly and toe of the brush, all the while under the gushing spigot. This method exposes the interior bristles to the cleansing flow until the brush is squeezed and the emerging water runs clear. Last night while rinsing my brushes, I accidentally pierced my finger with the sharp prongs of the cleaning comb, commingling my blood with the freshly flowing water and fading paint. 

​Can you see where I am going with this description? We can be raked and pierced by life’s assaults all day long and not benefit in the slightest. But God has a divine purpose behind the hardships we face in this life. With the spigot running continuously, He restores us during the transformation process if we position ourselves in Him. 

I want the fruit of my remodeled lavatory, but I do not look forward to the chaos of dismantling existing structures or to cleaning my brushes. I cannot have a new room without enduring the chaos and the cleaning. Our lives are the same way. I want my life and character to be transformed by God, becoming beautiful. But the project is one of demolition and yielding to a thorough cleaning for me to emerge as hoped. 

My life and yours too require copious amounts of free-flowing Water, running constantly, to cleanse the compacted strands of our life stories  — both the washing of the water of the Word and abiding in the Spirit immersed in the River of Life. A bucket of water captured in a quick morning devotion will just not suffice. The flow of His presence must be constant. The more Water, the better! 

And it takes a good piercing under that flow to expose what is hidden. Prayers to abort the process do not yield a life usable in the hands of the Master Painter. Instead, apply more Water and benefit fully from the raking, embracing God's divine purpose and provision. Visualize the brush with each squeeze of the bristles in your Master's hand! 

Drawing blood last night created in my mind’s eye what really has to happen. It is the piercing of Jesus Christ, His blood, His cleansing flow applied to my life that leaves me restored, supple for use. And the bathroom? It is still a work in progress, but it is coming along beautifully!

​On occasion I like to camp alone, a time when I can pray and worship immersed in nature. Praise isn't something I'm supposed to do, rather, it's something I can't help myself from doing, like gasping at a glorious sunrise. The more I experience God in His goodness, sustaining me, even rescuing me, the more amazed I become by Him.

​Last night I worshipped under the stars nestled by a creek from my tiny Mtn Glo Tent, and pondered King Solomon. We all remember how God offered Solomon anything, and he chose wisdom, greatly pleasing God. What is easy to forget however, is that the entire exchange happened in a dream. And yet it was real. As I drifted to sleep, I asked Holy Spirit if He would speak to me that night in a dream as well, and if I too could choose wisely in a way that would honor Him.

The moment I emerged into the calm, my phone rang.

​I took a deep breath of relief with risk behind me, and answered.

On the line was one of the heavy hitters I took with me last month for Kingdom expansion pioneering work in North Borneo. She related that God spoke my name to her, and directed her to call me with an immediate message:

"I see you as the trophy. You are victorious. You are fully capable. You are well equipped. You are a leader. He is so pleased with you. Again, you are the trophy...you are His champion."

I was stunned. Timing is everything.

Then last night, as I'm sharing with my host my vision for founding a non-profit to bring autism intervention to developing nations, discussing setting up the board, the same feeling hit my stomach: rapids ahead, uncertainty, a mission seemingly without the skill set, but determination.

Immediately the affirming word returned, "His trophy, His champion, victorious, capable, equipped". His word had imprinted, and now is triggered with the internal feeling I get when approaching rapids in a kayak.

I thought of Gideon threshing his wheat while hiding from his enemies in a vat. God addressed him as "O valiant warrior!" And truly he was.

What rapids are you approaching that turn your stomach a bit, that threaten to tumble you upon the rocks?

​Listen intently for the affirmation God is poised to speak into your spirit at that very moment, to imprint upon you that indeed, you've got this. He is with you with every thrust of your oar.

Our ferry from Negros Island to Bohol Island was delayed for several hours, and concern arose for our ability to fulfill our commitment to speak that evening. Any changes could also impact the next day's schedules.

The journey before us involved a rough sea crossing. ​The two Dramamine pills I took were making me terribly sleepy as we waited ad nauseum in the hot, cramped, pre-loading staging area at the docks.

​As we headed toward the rocking craft to board, my travel companions began throwing out ideas for rescuing the sabotaged conference speaking schedule. 

• “Melanie could take tonight’s session while we sleep!“ 
  Me: “Ok.” 
  
  
• “Melanie could give up her plenary tomorrow to make up for lost time!”
  Me: “That works.” 
  
  (Peals of laughter ensued.)
  
  
• ​“Doesn’t anything ruffle your feathers?” one friend playfully chided. 

​​Not much.

And believe me, not getting frustrated is not in my “natural” temperament.

The truth is, raising children with hidden disabilities, precious wonderful children that are incredibly trying and who cause us to die to ourselves every...single...day of our lives, produces lovely fruit of patience, tolerance and perseverance. 

All of the peace I cried out for in my prayers during the most trying seasons of child raising, I have now, not because my babies are near grown, but because peace can be internal independent of agitators or circumstances.

You are not just molding your children. Your children are molding you, and its a beautiful thing. ​

Much truth has been written about positive thinking and its power to change the way we act. Even so, the power of positive thinking is a watered down weapon of warfare against Satan, a dull sword in a combatant’s hands against a lethal enemy who will stop at nothing less than your annihilation. Your greatest spiritual weapon of offense is not positive thinking but the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17). With it in your mind and heart, as well as on your lips, you are able to stand firm when the enemy on the outside or the lies within attack.

At times I feel isolated and cut off from God’s restorative presence. When these times come, I combat the lie of helplessness with the sword of truth, which says I am the temple of God whose Spirit lives in me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, regardless of circumstances (1 Corinthians 3:16). When I am attacked with the lie that today’s failures make me particularly odious to God, my sword strikes back with the sharp-edged declaration that my life is “a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God” (2 Corinthians 2:15).\
​
You see, time spent reading and meditating on the Word of God is not merely a spiritual discipline or one more brick to add to your trudging load, another area where you can fall under its weight. Instead, consuming the Word provides nourishing truth and life to your innermost being, life that defeats the lies of the enemy.

From Toppling the Idol of Ideal: Raising Children with Hidden Disabilities, Chapter 4, The Battle. 

Carnage. Far too much carnage.

I live in Colorado Springs, home of the Air Force Academy, Focus on the Family, and Pike’s Peak. Colorado Springs is also the town where on December 9, 2007 a gunman opened fired on my church killing two and wounding many others. Most recently, you may remember Colorado Springs for the murders at our Planned Parenthood building. 

My family has lived here for 18 years. Shortly after we moved to Colorado, on a cold winter’s day, I went around to the back of my house. I attempted to open the six foot gate leading to the space under my deck.

There was snow and ice blanketing everything, and as I tried to get the gate open, it was stuck fast. I slammed my body into it. No budge. Something appeared stuck under it. 

What was that?? It didn’t look right.

I took the long way around the house to approach the gate from the opposite direction.

Then I identified a grisly truth.

An animal had tried to evade capture by darting under my gate, a strategy that had worked for it, no doubt, many times before. But this time, there was a build up of snow and ice under the gate, severely narrowing the passageway. The animal, I believed a cat, got stuck halfway without a moment to spare. A predator grabbed its exposed parts and began pulling, stripping the skin and fur right off the cat’s hind quarters.

I felt sickened knowing that the torture must have continued for some time until the predator came up with the same idea I had. Approach the victim from the other side. The cat was then mauled and stripped from his head, all the while remaining stuck fast under my gate, pinned down to endure a gruesome death.

It took me weeks after extracting the carcass to deaden the image in my mind of this terrified, suffering cat. It was the only way to avoid perpetual weeping. As an animal lover, it was that upsetting to me.

But isn’t deadening the image just what we do when we hear about bodies being blown up in Syria, violence in France, or even our own townspeople getting gunned down in Colorado Springs, or now in San Bernardino?

The predator Satan is an authentic enemy behind every evil, far more ruthless than neighborhood coyotes who viciously attack cats. And a real response from us is nearer to the heart of God than disposing of the “carcass” in our own minds in order to move on with our lives unaffected.

This same predator is at work in the lives of people you cross paths with every day, not just in sensational atrocities which make headlines. As Christians facing our own profound challenges, we do not get a free pass from engaging with those within our spheres who have been ruthlessly attacked. Satan is not just the enemy of our souls; he is also an enemy of the abundant life our good God wishes to bestow.

​I addressed a group of mothers raising children with autism in Havana, Cuba this week. I offered the love of God, and some basic affirming truths taken from Scripture. I shared that even when medical questions are answered, we may still have spiritual questions.

One woman had tears streaming down her face as I spoke. 

A man who doesn't know God approached me afterwards, hungry for more. 

There is a bond between parents who have faced similar challenges. We understand each other's pain. Isolation alienates, and robs us of hope. The reassurance of "Me too!" is a universal experience that bridges between cultures. 

And Kingdom culture dictates that we do everything in our power, even travel to far reaches, to offer the comfort of our shared stories and the Light of the Savior of the world. 

Go bridge some gaps in your world. Your experiences, failures and triumphs, put you in good company with others who are also committed to overcoming. Hearing from you makes their journey a little less difficult through connections that bring hope. 

​With many hot tears and great effort I refused those thought patterns real time in moments of desperation. They were lies and I knew it. I turned them into prayers of realignment with God's heart for my child and renewed commitment to respond to my child with compassion. 

It is too easy to react with anger when our child behaves defiantly. But learning to remain calm and respond through careful consideration in the midst of great provocation is a skill only mastered in the midst of vexation. 

• "You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God's righteousness." (NRSV, James 1:19-20) 
  
  
• "If you have love for those who have love for you, what credit is it to you? for even sinners have love for those who have love for them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is it to you? for even sinners do the same." (Luke 6:32-33 CEB) 
  
  
• "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11 ESV)

Perhaps the season of discipline our family was in belonged to us as the parents, rather than to our child? And the sooner we yielded fully, the more our home reflected His peace, even as we trained our children. 

Whether compliant or difficult.