A Compassionate Voice for the Parents of Children with Hidden Disabilities
Melanie Boudreau
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You Are Not Alone

5/9/2016

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When we begin to speak openly in a way that shatters the facade of a perfect life, our tribe quickly grows into a home base of camaraderie. 
My parents are divorced. When I was in high school, sitting at a table filled with seven of my classmates, I took an informal poll to satisfy my curiosity. "How many of you are living with both of your biological parents?" Maybe one or two out of all of us sitting at that table. I remember feeling a bit shocked, and not quite so odd as a child from a broken family. 

​A few weekends ago I attended a small Christian conference with about 60 attendees. I decided to do a book giveaway of Toppling the Idol of Ideal: Raising Children with Hidden Disabilities. First I asked for those who have children or grandchildren with autism. A number of hands shot up. Then I asked for hands for those in the group with a family member with mental illness, a hidden disability. Multiple hands shot up. 

We don't realize just how common hidden disabilities really are, how many of those we come into contact with daily who must navigate the same challenges that cause us to feel misunderstood or isolated. When we begin to speak openly in a way that shatters the facade of a perfect life, our tribe quickly grows into a home base of camaraderie. 
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Finding Community

1/4/2016

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This morning I’m not feeling alone, even though technically our circumstances have not changed since yesterday. My daughter is still unemployed.  But we have a path forward. ​
Isolation is something parents raising children with disabilities face. I know this situation well, and recently discovered a helpful online resource that has the potential to help you connect to people and resources in your local community.

I am not affiliated with them in any way. I'm just sharing what I experienced so that it might help you.

This past week, in an attempt to help my daughter find suitable employment, I turned to Nextdoor, a private social network where posts are made to your own neighborhood. I was surprised and encouraged by how quickly people in my own community responded to help me.
​
  • A woman responded thanking me for the gracious and honorable way I described my daughter.
  • Another told me where her nephew with autism had found work.
  • One woman promised to explore opportunities in her place of work.
  • A man called and talked with me candidly for an hour about his own hidden disabilities and how his life and career have been impacted through the years. He now teaches vocations and invited us to explore educational options through his contacts.​
  • Another offered a job lead. Yet another shared where we could sign up for help with job leads for adults with disabilities. 
  • One family shared how their daughter with similar disabilities was at the same juncture in life and also struggling. 

Another offered to pass our need on to her contacts. She is an ADHD life coach, a woman with ADHD herself. Who knew such a thing existed? She described her profession like this: 

“We are life coaches specifically trained to work with people affected by ADHD symptoms...Which is not the same as traditional life coaching. We work on systems and strategies to manage the challenges presented by this unique brain wiring. Beginning with helping them understand why areas like organization, time management, relationships, communication, etc...Are challenging to begin with...” 

She is trained through ADD Coach Academy. She works locally or nationally, as coaching can be done via phone or Skype, depending on what works best for the client. If interested, Terri can be reached via email. 

This morning I’m not feeling alone, even though technically our circumstances have not changed since yesterday. My daughter is still unemployed.  But we have a path forward. 

That’s the power of community.

Find yours!
About the Nextdoor Social Network
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    About Melanie

    Two of our three children have Tourette's Syndrome as well as a few other co-morbidities, inherited neuropsychiatric disorders. I'm still happily married, love life and want to share encouragement bringing hope, humor and insight into the process of raising children who are different. 

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