A Compassionate Voice for the Parents of Children with Hidden Disabilities
Melanie Boudreau
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Everyday Miracles

11/17/2021

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I had one job. To get my grandchildren to school on time this morning. The careful list of instructions left by my daughter spelled it out clearly.

“Leave the house by 7:15 am.”

I am clever. I remember the ordeal a simple task of loading the car can be. We stepped out the door at 7 am sharp with the idea fifteen minutes to load would be ample. Silly me. It’s been too long. I should have started at 3 am.

The Boston Terrier escaped when the door opened, which was no big deal because she self-potties and runs back to the door. Unless there is a raccoon in the yard. She took off like a bat out of hell and disappeared into the woods.

First the children went in hot pursuit— but to no avail. They were impressed how their skittish dog penetrated the forest with no reserve. Then it was my turn. Into the woods I went.

Looking up, I spotted Olive’s obsession in the branch over my head. Leash in hand, eventually I corralled our domesticated crazed beast and coaxed her out of the brush and back into civilization. Enough adventure for one day— these kids must get to school!

Buckled back in, I press the ignition.

“Key fob not found.”

I am holding the fob in my hand. This is a push button ignition. Ugh!!! Ok, there is an emergency manual key hidden in every fob — I extract it and look for the insertion slot.

Dashboard. No. Under the cup holder. No. In the storage bay. No. Dash again. No. By my knees. No. Ugh!!! My grandson Brave mentions the penalties levied against him for arriving late.

Ugh.

Quick thinking, my beloved searches google “Mazda Fob Reset” and gets the vehicle to respond to the fob. Off we go! Thank you, Grandpa!

I do not know my way around Nashville. But I am quick with my GPS and equipped with the address pre-loaded. Only upon arriving at the first spaghetti junction, the options the program presented me did not match the road signs. Each road may have 4 names, but only a local can supply the names not present on the sign overhead. And I am no local.

Pulling off in heavy traffic, I switch programs and the alternate app chooses a route actually represented by signage. How was I to know it was a fifteen minute diversion to make a loop back around? And loop we did.

I prayed for a miracle- a teleportation wonder where somehow we pull into car line right on time. That miracle did not happen. My grandchildren were late to school this morning, my first day behind the wheel of their parenting, entrusted with their precious lives.

But a miracle had taken place, over a number of years actually. The miracle of being able to remain calm under pressure, the miracle of not accepting the shame offered me after failure. The miracle of seeing the humor in circumstances real time, even when the outcome feels like it makes me look bad. The miracle of being present and loving life and being connected to the God of the universe who is smiling at me as I navigate loving well in the midst of stress.
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Rescue comes in the form of a Person— through Divine camaraderie and empowerment. Today, in the midst of your own story, receive His provision and watch the same miracles unfold.
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No Problem

4/15/2020

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Last October I traveled to Nashville, Tennessee for a weekend of mentoring by Robby Dawkins. We (~ six of us) were the ministry team for a conference hosted by the Nashville Vineyard. The church is only a few blocks from the pro football stadium for the NFL Tennessee Titans. On the last day, Sunday, hosts told us there was a football game and parking (only available on the street!!!!) might be an issue. I was driving my rental car. (OF COURSE PARKING WILL BE AN ISSUE!!! DUH!!! )

Alarmed because I do not know my way around downtown Nashville and I had no idea where to park in a congested game-day traffic nightmare, I tried to press in asking Robby’s assistant, Alyssa, for more information— what to do? She looked at me puzzlingly... there was no problem yet. (I inferred, why would we be wasting emotional or intellectual energy problem-solving a problem that did not exist?)

I breathed deeply and off we went. Approaching the church, unknown to any of us, we saw the staff had blocked off parking spots for us using orange cones. I had to laugh. No problem.

There was no problem.

And I could have expended energy trying to plan ahead for one. Jesus was speaking to me. He is speaking to me now in the midst of sheltering at home, and has used the visual imagery of those cones ever since to whisper to me, “WAIT until you actually have a problem to solve it.”

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

So very true.

There is SO MUCH speculation, prediction, swirling to invade our peace in a time when DUH OF COURSE THERE WILL BE A PROBLEM (crashing real estate values, loss of retirement accounts, economy crashing, death among people we might even know...the list goes on ). And yet, Jesus smiles, knowing He is meeting us as each challenge actually materializes, and He might even be setting up cones in front of the House of God. We are that house, if we can only keep a firm grip on our bold confidence. (Hebrews 3:6 MSG)

Join me in prayer--

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I open my palms before You in surrender. I confess I do not know how things will turn out in the aftermath of this pandemic. There are clear indicators of trouble, a platform for Your intervention and provision. We declare You are faithful, my ever-present help in my time of need. I trust You, the God Who knows the end from the beginning, in Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

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Rapids Ahead

7/12/2017

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"The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior."
​- Judges 6:12 (KJV)
Yesterday I kayaked a section of the Savanah River in Augusta, GA. I have zero kayaking skills. Even so, my host graciously indulged me. It's definitely my idea of a good time.

The river is broad and strewn with rocks, and in places there are roars suggestive of waterfalls ahead. My host kayaking behind me assured me otherwise, but even Class 1 rapids can dump a kayak if wedged sideways, or otherwise stuck.

I could feel my stomach tense up, my adrenaline release, and my determination focus as I led our path through uncertain waters.

The Father's Assurance in the Midst of Challenges

The moment I emerged into the calm, my phone rang.

​I took a deep breath of relief with risk behind me, and answered.

On the line was one of the heavy hitters I took with me last month for Kingdom expansion pioneering work in North Borneo. She related that God spoke my name to her, and directed her to call me with an immediate message:

"I see you as the trophy. You are victorious. You are fully capable. You are well equipped. You are a leader. He is so pleased with you. Again, you are the trophy...you are His champion."

I was stunned. Timing is everything.

Then last night, as I'm sharing with my host my vision for founding a non-profit to bring autism intervention to developing nations, discussing setting up the board, the same feeling hit my stomach: rapids ahead, uncertainty, a mission seemingly without the skill set, but determination.

Immediately the affirming word returned, "His trophy, His champion, victorious, capable, equipped". His word had imprinted, and now is triggered with the internal feeling I get when approaching rapids in a kayak.


I thought of Gideon threshing his wheat while hiding from his enemies in a vat. God addressed him as "O valiant warrior!" And truly he was.

What rapids are you approaching that turn your stomach a bit, that threaten to tumble you upon the rocks?

​Listen intently for the affirmation God is poised to speak into your spirit at that very moment, to imprint upon you that indeed, you've got this. He is with you with every thrust of your oar.
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Finding Peace

11/1/2015

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"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

Hebrews 12:11 ESV
Disruptive. 

That was an accurate word to describe my child and the impact negative behaviors had in our otherwise peaceful home. 

I grew up in a house with abuse. Raised during WWII in England, my father was damaged in ways he never recovered. As a child I questioned whether I ever wanted a marriage because home should be a place of safety. But I did marry. And I married a man of God who allowed the peace of God to rule his heart. 

Yet even so, the idyllic home life I longed for eluded us. 

In the midst of handling oppositional, disobedient behavior of my child with hidden disabilities, my heart was offered so many agreements with the enemy of my soul. 

Unwelcome thoughts toward my child visited me: 
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  • "If it weren't for YOU, we could enjoy this season." 

  • "YOU are destroying our other children's childhoods." 

  • "My life is a train wreck and YOU'RE the conductor." 

It hurts me now to even write these lines with those most difficult years behind us, because the ideas they express couldn't be further from the truth. Satan and his minions know no limits when it comes to offering us destructive narratives that undermine hope, stripping it not only from us, but also from our children. 

Learning to Remain Calm

​With many hot tears and great effort I refused those thought patterns real time in moments of desperation. They were lies and I knew it. I turned them into prayers of realignment with God's heart for my child and renewed commitment to respond to my child with compassion. 

It is too easy to react with anger when our child behaves defiantly. But learning to remain calm and respond through careful consideration in the midst of great provocation is a skill only mastered in the midst of vexation. 

  • "You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God's righteousness." (NRSV, James 1:19-20) 

  • "If you have love for those who have love for you, what credit is it to you? for even sinners have love for those who have love for them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is it to you? for even sinners do the same." (Luke 6:32-33 CEB) 

  • "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11 ESV)

Perhaps the season of discipline our family was in belonged to us as the parents, rather than to our child? And the sooner we yielded fully, the more our home reflected His peace, even as we trained our children. 

Whether compliant or difficult.
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    About Melanie

    Two of our three children have Tourette's Syndrome as well as a few other co-morbidities, inherited neuropsychiatric disorders. I'm still happily married, love life and want to share encouragement bringing hope, humor and insight into the process of raising children who are different. 

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