Imagine everyone comes equipped with a portable chalkboard, raking their fingernails downward in your presence. When you cringe or snap at others to quit it, YOU are glared at for your intolerance. Welcome to the world of the sensory sensitive. They are accosted by sounds, lights and textures constantly. Instead of empathy, they are offered incessant correction, as though the pressure of these communicated expectations could lessen their irritation and subsequent rage.
Your child cannot control internal response to sensory stimuli that induces cringing. It’s not your child’s fault. But it IS your child’s problem. Taking responsibility means not making one’s own problem everyone else’s problem! I understand my child’s compulsion to scream at family members to shut up, turn off the lights or to make other demands. I communicate that empathy. But I also hold my child accountable for these behaviors which they CAN potentially control when given strategies.
One of the most valuable skills we can teach our children is personal responsibility and self accommodation. I’m on my children’s side. Out of love, not compulsion, we do make accommodations when sensitivities wax. But ultimately, as my children age and grow in maturity, my children must learn to predict and provide for their own relief. Applaud these efforts. When another looks at us askance because my child is wearing noise canceling headphones during church, I will wear no shame; I will repel all judgment and teach my child to do the same.
Your child cannot control internal response to sensory stimuli that induces cringing. It’s not your child’s fault. But it IS your child’s problem. Taking responsibility means not making one’s own problem everyone else’s problem! I understand my child’s compulsion to scream at family members to shut up, turn off the lights or to make other demands. I communicate that empathy. But I also hold my child accountable for these behaviors which they CAN potentially control when given strategies.
One of the most valuable skills we can teach our children is personal responsibility and self accommodation. I’m on my children’s side. Out of love, not compulsion, we do make accommodations when sensitivities wax. But ultimately, as my children age and grow in maturity, my children must learn to predict and provide for their own relief. Applaud these efforts. When another looks at us askance because my child is wearing noise canceling headphones during church, I will wear no shame; I will repel all judgment and teach my child to do the same.
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