Building our own lives and the lives of our children are too important building projects to rely on our ever-changing situational assessments.
Back when I taught Sunday school, I had the children come to the front of the class one by one and hold up a yardstick, “straight up and down”. Then I applied a plumb line to their best guess. Not surprisingly, some children were as far off as six inches, and others within a few centimeters.
Raising children with hidden disabilities may make us feel as though we are the exception to clear standards outlined in God’s Word. It’s easy to see through the deception when our pastor claims he missed his soul mate, and “God told him” it was upright to pursue his secretary, as though God’s standards changed for his “unique” position.
But the standards of how we as parents talk and act towards our children who are incredibly difficult to raise are also not up for eyeballing, for doing what is right in our own eyes beyond what God would agree is the loving or correct approach to address a problem. If it’s not all right to verbally degrade a typical child, it’s not all right to do so with a child who is unmovable by more acceptable parenting techniques.
Create for yourself an imaginary godly audience who watches your interactions, and who wants only the best for you. I’m not proposing a galley of condemning stone throwers, rather, the voices of wisdom who speak into your life encouragingly. We are our own reality show before a great cloud of witnesses!
One day, those babies will be grown and able to process through not only their own behaviors, but also yours. Keep your behaviors pointing to a loving, grace filled God who also remains committed to standards of right and wrong. He is standing by to be your ever present help in time of need!